 No matter how weird, awkward or flawed you feel, love loves you.
No matter the depths of the suffering you are managing, love loves you. No matter if you speak when you want to be quiet, love loves you. No matter if you listen to your intuition or not, love loves you. No matter your frequency or human level of consciousness, love loves you. No matter how free you feel, love loves you. No matter how much "work" you do on yourself to gain your own love, love loves you. No matter your sensitivity or foolishness, love loves you. No matter your ability to feel connected to love, love loves you. No matter how embodied or not you are, love loves you. No matter how much you judge or fear or mistrust others/life, love loves you. No matter your wounds, love loves you. No matter how afraid you are or where you misstep, love loves you. No matter your mistakes and the amends you make, love loves you. No matter whether good things are happening or bad, love loves you. No matter how much joy or grief you feel, love loves you. No matter your level of awakening, love loves you. No matter your unmetabolized shadow, love loves you. No matter the height of your light and genius, love loves you.
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 Your body knows how to love.
She knows the sensations and freedom of wholeness. There is a divine intelligence embedded in every cell. Your body also holds all of the fragments of unmetabolized experiences from repressed suffering piled on through a life where we are taught to deny the impact that life has on us. Forced positivity violates her truth. Our bodies wait for us to turn towards her. She longs to offer up her dreams, visions, fears, longings and emotions as guides back home. When we live inside our mental body, our thoughts are always responding to these fragments that live just outside of our consciousness awareness. Just because we are conscious in mind does not mean we are aware of everything. We get stuck in struggle, scarcity and suffering because we think that it is the mind that can solve the riddle. Mind as king cannot ever replace the role of the body as our queen.  Unworthiness does not exist in nature. There are no trees, flowers, plants, insects, elements or animals that worry that they are less than creation or better than all the others around them. Everything exists together in delicate balance, one that is necessary for the benefit and survival of all.
Worth has nothing to do with being human. It has been created via a culture that is based on economics rather heart. It has more to do with giving value to what can be monetized and capitalized on as a resource. If there is no added value, ability to monetize something or use it as a resource to build more "worth," than it isn't seen as worthy. This is a very sad thing. The very things that deeply nourish the soul of a human being are often not seen to be very valuable in an economics based culture. Worthiness dehumanizes the soul, stripping away the in-between nature of what it is to be a whole human being. We begin to treat the earth and other animals in this way. It has absolutely nothing to do with the truth of who we are. Nothing. No matter how much you charge your "worth" or know your "value," it will never quite satisfy the heart or quench the soul because you are not a commodity item available for sale, debate, opinion, forming, reducing, judging or dismissing. Because worth has nothing to do with you.  The "patriarchy” doesn’t have to just do with men or the masculine principle. Everything is a part of the wholeness and the wholeness lives within all things. There is also very much a feminine counterpart to the patriarchy, a system designed to function through domination, control and power.
This is a system that rose from the transition of worshipping mother nature to seeking to domination not only over mother earth but over our own feminine nature deeply tied to the earth body itself. The death mother is the counterpart to the death father. These are archetypal energies that exist in the collective psyche. If they did not, there wouldn’t be the kind of situations we are dealing with on the earth at this time. These archetypal energies influence each of us and are confounded even more if they’ve also arrived into the blueprint of our nervous systems via our actual parents. The death mother is the shadow part of the feminine who seeks to express herself through power, domination and control of the elemental feminine, of the soul of both men and women. She represents the "cultural subjugation of the wild and unruly feminine (Toko-pa)" and to survive she's become like the death father in order to thrive. Her soul was stolen and now she steals to feel like she has one.  There's a saying about resentment that goes something like resentment is like drinking a poisonous substance and expecting the other person to die from it.
It's anger and hurt wrapped up in a frustration that our mind projects onto others but an energy we attack ourselves with. It's painful living inside the trance of resentment, a trance we get so used to that we don't even realize how much we are punishing ourselves and attacking life on a very deep, subconscious level. Beneath resentment is often trauma or grief over needs that were never met. Trauma means disconnection. It is a broken form of trust in life, love, others and in our ability to meet our innermost emotional and spiritual needs. Where we have resentment, there is an inner wounded one that didn't get needs met, has a hurt that was never expressed/acknowledged, or there is simply grief over what never was. These kinds of disappointments are real and not to be glossed over. In order to truly individuate into our true sovereign adulthood and move into our highest potential, we must soothe the inflammation of resentment through watering it with our tears of grief.  Tenderness is strength.
It is this tremendous capacity to meet ourselves with raw love drawn from the deepest knowing that every part of us is worthy of love and compassion. It is the space where our beingness meets with the love that life longs to offer us, reminding us that eros connects us to the very heart beat of life itself. Tenderness has the capacity to soften the heart open and expand our ability to feel trust in the intelligent nature of life. Tenderness shows us that power is not in force but in meeting what arises with fierce softness and that loving presence is the elemental nature of the feminine that naturally brings change when we make contact with her. Tenderness heals us. She cracks us open and brings healing relief to tension in the body. She kisses our grief and joy in equal measure. She roots for us to wrap our fear in her loving arms to transform it into courage. She builds the bridges between the shadow and the light. Tenderness is power. It is the reclamation of the great mother within our own hearts. We can no longer afford to feed the belief that tenderness is weak. Our hearts (and this world) are deeply in need of more tenderness, not less. . How can you find some tenderness for you today?  Grief does not need to be healed, it IS the healing itself.
It’s the range of love that weaves its way through the cracks in the walls built around our hearts...walls built to protect us but only serve to keep the grief and love inside. It is the wildness of love that explodes our hearts open, reconnecting us with compassion and connectedness to all the things in this life. It is the seeds of sanity and self-love. It is the waves of great letting go, mourning the passing, inner wailing at disappointment, the peace made with taking refuge inside the walls of impermanence that everything will eventually change.  There are so many patterns we learned to survive as children that are ways of being that are acceptable, almost cherished qualities, in our consumer driven, future focused society; one that idealizes perfection as a goal wildly unattainable by the nature of being human.
These internal patterns and habits of perfectionism and people pleasing are soul killers. They further the split between our "ideal" self and our inner, tender, feeling and creative nature. It creates a deep divide between the wise animal of our body and the divine nature of our hearts. Perfectionism and people pleasing are expressions of the soul wound, not who we really are individually or as a culture. But, these very pattens enforce us to not reveal the truth of our pain, the roots of our habits because it will wreak havoc to a system that relies on our pain remaining out of our awareness. This leads many to feel ashamed of the truth of their hearts, the wisdom of their bodies, true purpose or calling, or the particular ways genius wants to be expressed in the world. |
Dr. Nandi Hetenyi
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