The "patriarchy” doesn’t have to just do with men or the masculine principle. Everything is a part of the wholeness and the wholeness lives within all things. There is also very much a feminine counterpart to the patriarchy, a system designed to function through domination, control and power.
This is a system that rose from the transition of worshipping mother nature to seeking to domination not only over mother earth but over our own feminine nature deeply tied to the earth body itself.
The death mother is the counterpart to the death father. These are archetypal energies that exist in the collective psyche. If they did not, there wouldn’t be the kind of situations we are dealing with on the earth at this time.
These archetypal energies influence each of us and are confounded even more if they’ve also arrived into the blueprint of our nervous systems via our actual parents.
The death mother is the shadow part of the feminine who seeks to express herself through power, domination and control of the elemental feminine, of the soul of both men and women. She represents the "cultural subjugation of the wild and unruly feminine (Toko-pa)" and to survive she's become like the death father in order to thrive. Her soul was stolen and now she steals to feel like she has one.
Throughout many cultures there are myths of the one who steals the soul. This energy can carry many different names and it feeds off of our divisiveness within and without.
This energy is so deeply tied to the way we continue to rule over our own inner psyches, the way we parent ourselves. The way we consume, the ways we dehumanize others, the way we disavow emotions as less than, the way we diminish what it is to be human, the ways we treat the planet and the way capitalism and consumption feeds these energies we so deeply want to be free of.
Men and women can have a death mother. We can be death mothers to each other.
She who has a lot invested in things staying the same and pulling us away from creativity, growing or emerging into a much more life-affirming way of living. She’s there when we want to expand or deepen into a new field of love or express a truth or move in a new direction that would bring us more freedom. She likes us to feel empty, she lives insides most of our addictions because addictions are the antithesis of freedom and creativity.
She can arrive in the form of our personal mothers, which is harder to deepen into because mothers have so much pressure on them (hey…death mother anyone) to be these perfect reflections of all abounding unconditional love when they are human beings juggling a million things, including their own trauma and wounding.
Yet, the other side of motherhood is there…not all women like to be mothers or want to have children and this impacts the psyches of their children. There are actually cultures and societies where babies are not kept if they will not be properly cared for.
Not feeling wanted is like death to a child entering the world. There are millions of people who feel unwanted by life forced into this death culture matrix of forced positivity and false belonging. And we wonder why there is a lack of self-love and an overabundance of depression and addiction?
There is a pathway I am mapping out where we can start to enter into a conversation with our personal death mother.
She is the starting point of this story of transformation. It is an ancient tale that is ready for a different ending.
We can meet her, understand her wounding and begin to transform her into our own loving mother.
We can heal our inner mother, which heals our inner feminine and masculine energies in such a profound way….this also is what gives us the freedom to live in the world in a different way.
It starts to change the frequencies in the collective psyche as well.
So, especially for women, when we talk about banishing the inner patriarch as an abusive inner husband, it’s important to be careful and mindful of what we are saying because this isn’t about men, it’s about meeting the shadow of the unexpressed feminine who seeks to dominate as she was dominated and how we mirror this in the way we treat our inner wounds and our inner constellation.
If we want to fully claim a life affirming and thriving way to live, we have to name, honor and find a way to transmute what pulls us towards stagnancy, death and sameness. If we want to help the planet we have to understand why we are hurting her.
We must walk towards where we are not free and enter the mythical journey to discover how to truly mother ourselves in a way that everyone can become free.