​Your grief does not need to be healed. There is nothing wrong with your grief. Nothing needs to be fixed. It is a natural reaction to the inevitable changes that happen as a part of life. Grief is purifying and healing, it keeps open the channels of the heart. Grief is another form of love, of loving and extending gratitude for what is changing, what has been lost and what is passing away. Grief itself is healing. It is a form of health to grieve, it keeps you vibrant, alive and open to life. If you do not grieve, it is a heart that is also closed to love and closed to life.
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What is broken is a world that does not allow grief to be. What is broken is the lack of space that is held for love to pour its wisdom and grace into your tender heart. What is broken is a world where grief and emotions are pathologized and made wrong, making us feel wrong for experiencing what is normal. Even the death industry has been turned into a capitalistic commodity that has removed the experience of death and loss from our lives and placed it away from us, putting a price on it where it is expensive to die. Where, in times of deep grief one must think about money and expenses. What is broken is the shame that is created in the wounds where love wants to reside. What is broken is that we do not know how to be with what is most natural and beautiful about the flow of life. Love, praise, grief....love, praise and grief.
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There is nothing wrong with your grief. There is nothing about your grief that needs to be healed. It longs to sing its song, to be witnessed, heard and held. For its wisdom to be known and for it's love to be praised into an even fuller life than what you had thought was possible.

We cannot deny others the dignity of coming into conscious relationship with their inner life and, therefore, into conscious contact with Source. We cannot metabolize or take on the suffering of others in any way that is useful to anyone. When we attempt to meet others' in their pain and suffering by taking on that emotional energy and then processing through it ourselves, this is energetic co-dependence.  It is an unconscious movement towards seeking safety and connection, towards attempting to escape what is feeling uncomfortable. It is also a survival mechanism many of us learned as children.

What we see in the world around us and in the suffering hearts of those we love often stirs up discomfort, scary feelings of powerlessness to change anything or overwhelming love. We want to do something. We want things to change so we can feel safe and, more importantly, we can experience loving connection. As children, we wanted connection and attention. We still do. It's what we are wired for and our psyches will find any strategy to get there. Unfortunately, these habits become so embedded in our cultural psyche that we start to think this is normal. Normal is not necessarily healthy. Normal is not necessarily love.

The best thing we can do is tend to our hearts, look at our triggers and heal our matches, heal our relationship to emotions and discover the essence of what love really is. This will help us first heal and having a conscious relationship with ourselves and source, then we can truly be present with another without losing ourselves or seeking our wholeness in another soul wound. We each have a soul wound. One of the most empowering practices I have found is learning how to harness my soul wound for spiritual power and as a path of connection to source and well-being, rather than something that needs to be fixed or soothed by things outside of me (or in bottles of wine).

Bringing true presence and love and compassion isn't about rescuing anyone from themselves or taking on grieving for the collective, it is almost a distraction and a perpetuation of early emotional trauma. It's all pointing the way towards our own healing so we can truly hold space and LIFT EACH OTHER UP rather than us all diving down into the trenches to take on each other's pain in an endless cycle. I'm a huge stand for unravelling this energetic co-dependence and healing the emotional soul wound that is at the heart of what is driving this patriarchal narrative. One. Step. At. A. Time. I am here as a guide, to hold space and walk the path with you and empower you to know your heart. I am here if you truly want freedom. Only you can do your work, but you don't have to do it alone