Living in a world that values what image we project over who we really are, what we can produce over what we express, how we look over how we feel is a culture that is emotionally and spiritually neglectful. It is a culture that values the external to such a degree that we have become codependent this culture, a death mother, in an attempt to receive the nourishment our psyche is so deeply craving and getting ourselves lost in the process.
We have been split in two...our inner nature and our rational nature. Animal and divine has become animal OR divine. The splitting creates a deep chasm in the in-between, a place that rests in our hearts...where we are actually meant to embody the in-between...to be both instinctual and divine, logical and filled with the creative loving energy of eros; to hold a safe container, respect knowledge and wisdom equally and to navigate through the world fully alive in our cells with feeling, wisdom and grace. We should feel safe to be whole. Yet most of us do not.
This is the essence of the soul wound, the split between our two sides; logos and eros, masculine and feminine, animal or spirit, spiritual or science, dark or light, love or hate, good or bad...and on and on.
The "belief" of I am not good enough is often a very real inner voice that is not a belief, but an aspect of our soul wondering "Do I exist," "Am I allowed to be here?," "why doesn't anyone see me?" It is a product of emotional and/or spiritual neglect. There is rage for never having been seen or known before, by the world and eventually by ourselves, for the way we learn how to be with ourselves is through internalizing how we were seen and loved (or not).
An abused or neglected child never hates their parents for it is too dangerous to do so since the child needs parents to survive. Rather, the child hates herself and the split occurs, the unloved, unseen aspects go away and eventually they become invisible to ourselves though they continue to cry out, longing to exist and there we are, wondering if we are good enough yet not knowing how to yet be worthy of our own love and doing all the things this crazy world has taught us how to be so we can get these deeper needs met and then hooked into an addictive world that actually denies the very underlying reality that fuels this entire crazy system.
We end up playing this over and over again, either feeling unseen or being the one doing the rejecting of other because we are trying to complete this energetic loop and free ourselves from this trauma trance. It is about power, not love. Power perpetuates this cycle and love will heal it.
The soul wound is a spiritual trauma, a wounding to the layers of the deep soul self, the emotional self, the intuitive self. Ultimately, it is a wound to the elemental feminine, to the place of eros, where our deepest longing and greatest fear meets. Where our deepest longing to be known and our greatest fear of being seen erupt in the heart breaking wide open in grief so that love knows where to find us.
The soul wound is the heart of the in-between that is where we can discover who we truly are. We don't have to chose sides, be intellectual or reject it entirely to be embodied. We get to be both. We ARE both. The deepest parts that don't feel they can exist here, they are the calls of the soul asking you to learn the ways of creating inner safety, reconnecting and learning the ways of love. That is the path of healing the soul wound...it is the opposite of our collective trauma trance (fear, disconnection and shame), it is safety, connection and love.
It is not in the denial of our human condition we will find transcendence, but in honoring it, respecting it, loving it, adoring it, devoting our lives to loving it that the grief of separation will finally set us free and there, we find everything we are looking for. One day at a time. One breath at a time. One moment at a time. One courageous expression at a time. One loving act at a time. One compassionate gesture towards self at a time. One gentle affirming act of love at a time. Love is not what we think. Neither is freedom. It's deeply embedded in our being when we stop rejecting our separation.