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Fear is Afraid of Fear

3/1/2018

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Fear is afraid of fear because it is protecting something. It's become unsafe to feel fear, which is a little strange and funny at the same time. It seems really important to not throw the baby out with the bath water, which means that it feels vital to the health of our collective hearts to find a different way to navigate and understand our innately emotional experiences that naturally arise in the course of living life as a human being. I am reminded of that really old paradigm saying that children should be seen and not heard. I hate that saying, but I believe that this still pervades our collective unconscious as we have inherited and internalized these models of the patriarchy, which we use as inner models for relating to ourselves. This is our soul wound.

Children need to be heard in order to feel deeply seen. We, as adults, are absolutely no different. When we dismiss our fears as all the same, as "fear-based thinking" (which arises out of the body holding on to fear, which is real in the body) we try to rationalize away or use mind strategies to attack the body for trying to tell it's story. This is in fact not seeing or hearing the core of ourselves. In a sense, it is putting salt in the soul wound.

Our body stores every single experience we have ever had and, if uncomfortable, we try to get rid of it without understanding it. This is not healing or loving. Healing is creating a space of love for the meaning and understanding to arise. It is only in that meaning and understanding that what is needed informs how to transform this energy into wisdom and love. This is self-love. It is hard to understand this if we have never felt emotionally loved or held, which is more common than you think. Emotional neglect is far more common than the patriarchy and media and marketing and most people would like you to know. We think the way we treat ourselves and others emotionally is normal and health. Normal is not always healthy. (Like encouraging people to put themselves out and share their voice, and then tear them down when they do and accuse them of having too much fear based thinking to really put themselves out there....)
​A fear of never being loved is not the same kind of fear as that of death. Fear of rejection is not the same as the fear of not having enough resources. We will not always be safe in this life, but we have to allow ourselves the safety to experience our fears so we can better understand the nature of our inner hearts and heal the trauma that is stored in our nervous system without creating more or becoming a paranoid police of one's thoughts and energy all the time (which is still fear and creates more pain). And, each fear is a guidepost for healing the soul wound.

Healing the soul wound is healing the relationship you have with yourself and learning how to be with yourself in a conscious way at the deepest levels you crave. It is in healing the trauma of not being okay to feel or think or be who you truly are that you begin to free yourself from the pain and fear that is trying to live itself out for resolution in your body. This is what I am here at this time to assist you with. To heal the soul wound, fall in love with yourself, re-connect with the divine, feel comfortable in your own skin, heal from trauma and addiction and meet the divine within.
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    Dr. Nandi Hetenyi

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