Spiritual trauma is a huge side effect of all kinds of abuse - physical, mental and emotional. At the heart of trauma, there is a deep rupture to our sacred roots because the sanctity of the human soul is disrespected or ignored. This is at the core of most dehumanizing behavior and practices that live in the heart of capitalism, as well as the death mother and father as rulers of this patriarchy.
For some, this is obvious to pinpoint. There were clear incidents or experiences.
It’s harder to pinpoint when this is the ambiance of the atmosphere we grow up in. These are the kinds of environments we leave and think that everything was fine but encounter challenges in our lives, including feeling that something is missing, feeling stuck all the time, lacking purpose, not trusting one’s own creative genius, chronic self-doubt, difficulty or guilt with thriving, feeling disconnected from Spirit and your own Soul, difficulty trusting life and love in a real, heart-centered, embodied way.
We are bathed in our mother’s womb. The environment in our early years serves this same container for our developing hearts, minds, bodies and soul. These energies shape us and inform our relationship with life and Spirit (our mother is our first experience of God or spirit or source), love, self image, etc.
We can live in environments where we are not seen, told to be quiet (children are to be seen and not heard), having parents who are addicted to work or substances, poor boundaries in the home (never knocking, parent being friends rather than parents, intruding, not respecting privacy), overly criticizing failures and achievements, supporting children to perform well, pressure to follow the dream of the unlived lives of the parents, denying the emotional needs a child has for love, comfort, mirroring, holding and reflection, or the child becoming the emotional caregiver for the parents…just to name a few.
Carl Jung taught that “nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their children than the unlived life of the parent.” The negative impact of this is received by the child in energetic and emotional ways. The child is unable to be his/her own person.
And, that is the essence of spiritual and emotional trauma, not being able to be his/her own person.
This is the origination of the soul wound. All the unmetabnolized pain goes down into the bottom of the heart and hardens there because there is no compassionate space for pain to be held, heard, witnessed or loved.
We internalize this and take this on as our relationship with ourselves.
So, we can seek a spiritual life to fill this void of spiritual trauma, seeking comfort in teachings, expanding our consciousness and awakening ourselves to different dimensions. Look for teachers to be our parents by proxy (which often never goes well).
It’s easy, I know it was for me, to adopt a spiritual addiction, a constant seeking and searching; an identity of spirituality to compensate for this void and shame I felt in my heart.
The soul wound a frequency in our heart center that is very palpable once we become aware of it and that we’ve been coping and searching and seeking within the pain, perhaps even attacking it and making it wrong, or unspiritual. This is a way that the death mother continues to haunt us with endless spiritual abuse towards ourselves.
It’s possible to come to consciousness, to cultivate deep awakening and expansive awareness of ourselves and different dimensions and still be disconnected from our hearts. The same source and love that expands our consciousness, reminds us of our cosmic place also longs to wash over our hearts and find its way down into the pain that’s been hardened.
This love from source wants to heal this pain in the heart and it has nothing to do with how awakened we are in our mind to the realms around us, or our manifesting power while diminishing the 3D.
The heart lives here, in the 3D.
It’s our divine tuning fork.
Awakening in the heart is just as crucial as awakening our consciousness. Consciousness devoid of love within the heart lacks compassion, which leads to further divisions and spiritual trauma. No true realized master discriminates via money or frequency or wounding or manifesting capabilities or sees themselves better than everyone else because of their spiritual attainments.
Divine consciousness comes with a great responsibility to bring love to every single cell of our being and to bring more love, compassion and understanding to the heart of the world.
Our greatest block to knowing that love is always with us is our pain.
We think our pain is separate from love, but that isn’t true. It’s that most of our pain was a result of a lack of love, so we divide ourselves from love and the more pain we are in, the more separate we feel we are from love and perhaps the more we feel we need to compensate for it in a world that rewards our compensation rather than our authenticity.
Pain melts away in the presence of compassion. Love is always with us. It’s simply that many of us need help. We need to learn to internalize a compassionate presence to our pain rather than continuing relegate these parts of us to some isolated island within ourselves.
Bringing consciousness and awakening down into the heart is the most beautiful thing. As I ponder this, I see that love is always with me. That doesn’t make me rise above being human or better than other humans or dismiss me from this strange karmic wheel we humans are playing out. For that is what it is.
Animals have their own dimension, their own realms and energies they are playing out. In their cycles, love is always with them. It is so with us. The more we can turn towards love with the pain in our hearts and relax, inviting grace to be with us, the more we can heal the spiritual crisis happening on this planet right now. We will no longer be able to turn a blind eye to the destruction of the earth or the pain of our fur friends because we will know of our interconnectedness, the love is always with us and that we are that love…which is a great responsibility and a beautiful thing to remember at this time in history.