In a trauma culture it’s incredibly important to become aware of ways that we make the aftermath of symptoms of trauma wrong. It is not true that the universe only gives us what we can handle. If that were true, trauma woudn’t even be a thing since the very definition of trauma is an experience that is too much for the system to handle, metabolize or make sense of whether it is physical, sexual, emotional or spiritual. (Note that most physical and sexual trauma also involves emotional and spiritual dimensions).
Indifference to the truth creates complacency and shaming of trauma survivors, people suffering with symptoms of trauma like addictions, anxiety, eating disorders or depression. Isolation. We are wired with needs that need to be met by others. If we start to program this out of us, it is supporting trauma at its core. We aren’t supposed to get used to not needing anything from others.
People are not addicted to their trauma. Nervous systems wired via fear because environments were not safe run on adrenaline, which creates a deep feedback loop. There is a deep disconnect to one’s own vital life force energy. It’s not just physical. It’s also emotional, spiritual and impacts the quality of consciousness through which life is perceived.
Awakening out this trauma trance can be quite intense as our whole inner (and outer) world must shift. We must learn that safety and joy are okay, that our own energy is safe because trauma at its most basic level impacts the very way we experience life. That it’s safe to be here in a real way, rather than the mind yelling at the inner one trying to convince it is safe when it doesn’t even know what safe feels like.
We are psychological AND spiritual beings. There are many spiritual, universal truths that are used to bypass, place on top of our suffering that is actually psychological in nature, because it’s difficult to integrate our spiritual experience with our human experiences. We want to be free and in a world where the external is what is rewarded, this is a strategy that actually makes a lot of sense.
But, drawing the soul energy back down into the body and inviting our life force back up into the heart, by necessity demands that the truth be told, that what has been ignored be felt. Otherwise we will get very sick. The body won’t have it any other way.
Trauma and shame thrive when there is denial and lies. If we cannot be with the truth of what our body has experienced, what our hearts and souls have endured, it is very difficult to release the energy pattern and become free to live into a new story.
Parts of us get stuck in a painful in-between, afraid to connect with the truth of our lives, afraid to feel the grief that will transform us while trying to use the mind to over write the stories because we live in a world that shames us. That kind of indifference keeps us in cycles of codependency, trying different things but not being able to wrangle free.
Admitting to the truth of what you have survived does not make you a victim. Naming the truth allows you to move from surviving to thriving. There is something to be honored in allowing our trauma to be a part of our story rather than being our story.
Enough victim shaming; shaming of symptoms of human pain. There are many things our souls want to share when they return to us. Retrieving parts of our soul pulls us into the liberating process of healing our relationship to ourselves.
Self-intimacy (aka as self-love) requires honesty. Grief moves our hearts open as an act of love that liberates us from aspects of self we’ve exhiled away, silenced by the indifference of those who do not have the tools to work through the liberating portal of being with what’s true.
Our culture functions through domination and control, so it’s not welcome to reveal the soft folds of bones and hips and original heart break. The soul wound will keep calling you back through. If you aren’t listening, your life will start trying to tell you the story you need to hear in any way it can get your attention.
Your story is important.
Not the story you make up about yourself, but the one your bones have to tell.